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Deal with your own Mistakes the RIGHT way Oops! Sometimes, as parents, we don't act the way we should in front of our children. What to do 1. Try to be honest with yourself and your child if you find that you've done something that sets a bad example. Sometimes we need to think a little about an event to realize that we've done something inappropriate. 2. If your child has observed your behavior, it's especially important that you be honest. A simple statement is appropriate in most cases; there is no need to turn your admission into a major event. 3. Follow up with an apology to anyone you have treated badly and, if possible, by making up for what you have done. It's important that our children, especially older ones, see that we face up to our own mistakes. Will You Be My Friend Our children need to learn to choose their friends wisely. What to do 1. Talk to your child about what is important in a friend. In addition to bring fun, what other qualities are important? What about honesty, dependability, a real interest in your child's welfare? 2. Talk to your child about the type of friends to avoid. Ask if your child can remember a friend who couldn't be counted on. Our children should learn that it is important to choose friends and companions who care about others and act responsibly. Share a Story One important way parents can help their children learn respect for others, self-control, or other aspects of responsibility is through the use of fables or stories. You can read to your child, you can read with your child, and you can encourage your child to read on his own. What you'll need. Good stories, either from books such as those listed on the 8th page or from your own experiences What to do. 1. Turn off the TV or other distractions. 2. Find stories that exemplify important aspects of character and that your child might enjoy. 3. Talk to your child about the behavior of different characters in the story. Ask your child how some of the behavior might apply to your own lives. 4. Share some stories or books that you have found meaningful with your child. (It is important for your child to see you reading and enjoying stories as well.) 5. Come up with your own stories. These can be family stories, such as baby stories (when your child was little...) that can become a part of your child's personal history. Stories can be good ways to learn important lessons. Your child can identify with characters in meaningful situations without your having to lecture. Parents and the Schools Parents need to work with teachers and other parents to ensure that children are brought up well. An African proverb says, "It takes an entire village to raise one child." It is important for parents and other adults to cooperate in order to have common goals for them. Close communication is essential. Parents can visit with teachers to discuss ways they and the school can reinforce the same lessons about good character. Children are less likely to do much homework, for example, if parents let them watch television for hours. Parents can learn from teachers what their children are studying and what interests them. A teacher or school librarian can provide good ideas for activities to do at home. Parents can cooperate with each other, too. They can agree on standards of supervision at parties and on entertainment. Some parents may be free to escort children to museums, libraries, athletic events, and extracurricular school activities, when others are not. Taking turns can provide better opportunities for all the children. Go on to the next section: |
Copyright Ahren Lotze 2006- all right reserved